Star Trek Animals and What They Should Be Called

To celebrate the release of Star Trek this weekend, Lee-Anne looks at the universes creatures and what they should be called!

Tribble

Balls of fluffy softness which reproduce incredibly quickly. They purr when you stroke them and are completely cute. BUT because of their food consumption and rapid reproduction, Starfleet considers them incredibly dangerous and forbids their transportation. They also scare Klingons, which is hilarious.

What They Should Be Called: Horny Belly Button Fluff or Donald Trumps Wig

My second favourite creature out of all the Star Trek universe. Admittedly, they are total perverts. But that’s ok; they are so cute and fluffy they get away with it. Like my chinchillas.

Cardassian Vole

Considered a pest, like a rat. Chews through wires and is basically a bit of a health hazard. Illegal Vole Fights are not uncommon, so there might be a case against animal cruelty here. Sve the Cardassian Vole! The most misunderstood creature in the Star Trek universe.

What They Should Be Called: Angry Shaved Cat

I’d be pissed too. Also I don’t like the fact it looks slimy. It’s completely naked, so that can’t be sweat right? If they were in our universe, someone on Etsy would be knitting them jumpers.

Gagh

A type of worm which is considered a sort of delicacy by Klingon folk.

What They Should Be Called: Night of the Living Spaghetti

Gagh –‘Please don’t eat me! I have so much to give!’
Klingon: Look at all the fucks I give *nom nom nom*

Targ


The targ is a native to the Klingon homeworld ‘Qo’noS. Similar to a boar, Klingons hunt Targ for food but also keep them as pets. Even big, bad Worf had a pet Targ, which reveals a softer side to the Klingon Lt.

What They Should Be Called: Space Pumba

How do we make a pig more spacey? Give it some horns. I like to think if Worf had been given a micro-pig with a little horn stuck to it’s head, he would have completely lost his shit over how cute it was.

Sehlat

A creature from the planet Vulcan, the sehlat is a large carnivorous animal with six inch fangs and an aggressive demeanour. Even the domesticated ones are still pretty vicious – they are kept as pets by Vulcan children.

What They Should Be Called: Bearly Legal/Pumped up on Bearoids

They seriously let children have these as pets? I’m not ashamed to say I cried when I found out what happened to Spock’s beloved pet sehlat, I-Chaya. Euthanising a pet is a devastating decision to make, even if you are super logical.

Le-Matya

Another creature nature to Vulcan, le-matya looks as though it is descended from the feline family. Except they are green. Abnd huge. Spock’s pet sehlat was attacked by a wild Le-Matya and died as a result of the injuries. Because of this no-one likes le-matya, which seems a little harsh.

What They Should Be Called: Battle Cat

By the power of Grey Skull! As these look like cats, I don’t understand why the Vulcans didn’t keep these as pets instead of the massive bear things. Think they had a bad rep for essentially killing I-Chaya; bet they love tuna and chin tickles.

Ceti Eel

These creatures are considered pretty terrifying in the Star Trek universe. The Ceti Eel carries its larvae on it’s back, until the slimy little buggers are old enough to crawl into the ear of a larger animal, wrap around their cerebral cortex and eventually cause the host to go insane and die. And you thought gnats were pesky?

How is that an eel?? Have you even seen an eel??

It has legs, and an exco skeleton. That’s clearly some kind of ceti lobster. Just like that unsupportive teacher or your bastard ex- don’t’ let them get inside your head!


STAR TREK BEYOND IS OUT NOW! 

Vikings – Brand New Trailers!

As someone who isn’t hip to the groove when it comes to Game of Thrones, I’ve always found the explosion of fandom around the show something to respect but also quite jarring. I know enough about the series to engage in conversation with fans about it but it’s still very limiting. The way that fans obsess over every character, create memes and spend hours and hours debating which House is the best is something to behold. The last time the passions grew so much in me was when Buffy the Vampire Slayer aired. That is until Vikings came along. Every moment watched creates such a feeling of excitement that more is immediately required. It’s grown from being a 10-episode series to now having a 20-episode series with a break in-between. Fans have been chomping at the bit waiting for the second half of Season 4 to be released. At San Diego Comic Con, a new trailer for the second half of Vikings season 4 dropped.

The trailer is a bounty of teases and suspense from start to finish. If the trailer is anything to go by, there’s going to be a lot of pay offs from some plot lines that have been rippling from as far as Season 2 which promises to be tense but worth the wait. More historically apt fans may spot that certain events that happened in the time Vikings are hinted to happen including Bjorn’s Mediterranean raid, the Great Heathen Army and Ragnar’s fateful return to England. All of this is set against a tightly edited and wonderfully put together trailer that gives no illusion that any of our beloved characters are safe and everything is at stake.

It’s the trailer Vikings fans are going to enjoy and hopefuly the 2nd half of the season fans will all enjoy.


VIKINGS IS BACK LATER THIS YEAR!  

Suicide Squad – Brand New Trailer!

Suicide Squad is less than a fortnight away so, as we’ve previously said, we’re going to get lots of clips about the movie.

Suicide Squad revolves around a group of Gotham’s heinous villains who are roped into a scheme that could see them turn into heroes too.

This trailer gives a lot of way and divulges more of the plot BUT seriously, there’s too much here. We just want to film. So we’ll be waiting impatiently for it to arrive.


SUICIDE SQUAD IS OUT 5th AUGUST 

American Gods – Brand New Trailer!

Neil Gaiman has crafted some impressive stories, filled with magic, mystery, intrigue, and darkness. His work has been aching for adaptations and one of his biggest successes is American Gods which is now getting it’s very own television show!

Starring Ricky Whittle, Ian McShane, Emily Browning, and….Is….is that Pornstache?  YES. IT IS!

Sorry, anyway, starring all these folks, American Gods revolves around Shadow Moon who is released from prison and meets the mysterious Mr. Wednesday which sets off a series of catastrophic events! After the death of his wife, he is suddenly hired as Mr. Wednesday’s bodyguard and is thrown into a scheme to bring back the Old Gods, pushing Shadow’s reality further!

Developed by Hannibal’s Bryan Fuller, the stylish visuals and beguiling plot means this has pushed itself to the top of the must-see list.

What do you think?


AMERICAN GODS IS OUT NEXT YEAR! 

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword – Brand New Trailer & Clips!

It takes literally five seconds of this trailer for you to tell this is a Guy Ritchie film. It’s literally the most Guy Ritchie film to ever Guy Ritchie. It stinks of the director: the visuals, the dialogue, the action. It’s all obvious in these two minutes and, let me tell you, if you don’t like what you are about to see, then you’ll probably not like the movie.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword sees Charlie Hunnam in the titular role. The film revolves around the rambunctious King who doesn’t know his heritage until he finds Excalibur. From street urchin to royalty, King Arthur is soon rallied with the Resistance to stop the evil tyrant Vortigern! Can they rise up against the oppression?

Right, so, I don’t know how to feel about this but it could be fun! Charlie Hunnam looks brilliant as his royal role as does Jude Law’s villainous Vortigern because he does villain so so well!


KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD IS OUT MARCH 2017

King Kong: Skull Island – Brand New Trailer!

King Kong is one of those movie creatures that’ll probably exist in cinema for a very long time. Like his frenemie Godzilla, the original horrors of filmdom will stomp across our screens forever!

Case in point. Kong: Skull Island is exploring that great furry menace yet again.

But this brand new trailer is actually outstanding!

Starring everyone’s favourites, Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson, the film revolves around a crew of explorers, army men, and scientists who head to the titular place but upset everyone there because some beasts should be kept secret. Cue a bloody war with the MASSIVE gorilla!

Apocalypse wow! The film looks intense with brilliant aesthetics, great actors, and so much blockbuster-y drama! What do you think of the trailer?


KONG: SKULL ISLAND IS OUT 2017