4 Pieces of Advice to Cure Cinematic Rage

Being a fan of the cinema industry is a one way route for an aneurysm. There wasn’t a day that goes by where I hadn’t torn my hair out in rage over a certain bit of cinematic news that is basically ruining the art form and medium. It made me Hulk out, and smash things. But like Bruce Banner says, I learnt to control my anger, leaving it to boil underneath the surface. Rapidly, learning a certain number of tricks made me calm. And I am going to give you so chants to keep telling yourself as to not loose whatever love you had for the film industry.

Say these with me and “ommmmm.”

There Will Always Be Adaptations And Remakes

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And you’ll be surprised how many of your favourite movies actually are. This is coming from a blogger whose two out of five of her current top favourite films are original ideas. But hey, it’s ok. Unless there was extensive butchering of the material a la Eragon, film adaptations are always going to happen. When it truly works, it I because a director or screen writer reads or sees something and goes “I want to enhance it.” A filmmaker will envisage that world more passionate and determination to realise it for the big screen, bringing it to stellar life. Sure, studios often see that teen adult book number 324824842 is doing well and place it on the screen. But the sooner you accept that not only is it going to happen but if it’s got an a incredible person at the helm of it, it’s going to be undeniably fine.

Remakes, too, have been happening for years. Sometimes they improve on the initial material. Other times its to translate a culture and language so certain audiences can understand it better. And it’s not just America doing it. Japan, India and many more have insanely different interpretations and remakes of films. But because you aren’t living there, you just don’t see it as lucratively as we do.

It’s recognising that film to book or film to stage adaptations happen to. As do English to Foreign language remakes to. It’s never going to stop, so why stress out? You can rage AFTER it’s a mess. That’s what I did with The Vampires Assistant. Poor Darren Shan.

Studios Will Always Churn Out Generic Shit

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Every time you hear Hollywood Studios, I can imagine that, like me, you see thunder and lightening and evil cackling. The thing is, there are very few Hollywood studios taking risks nowadays and turning to originality. Or simply, there just isn’t enough well known originality out there. So you go to the cinema and you have to choice a romantic comedy you know the end to, the rise of a superhero team, a horror movie where you’ve guess the killer and an action movie with explosions. It’s yawn inducing and it’s terrible. Even when you’ve monopolized on a completely different concept, even that gets churned out repeatedly.

You shouldn’t get angry. Why? Because you’re similarly part of the problem. If this is the same thing you’ve seen over, it’s because a lot of audiences want it. They are happy with routine and cookie cutter stuff because it’s familiar, like listening to a favourite band. If you genuinely spend most of your time seeing something vastly original at an independent cinema shack than good for you but that’s unrealistic. There needs to be a balance. You can enjoy the mainstream and the independents too. As long as you recognise the validity of both, you’ll be fine. You’ll understand that this is how the world works.

Purse Your Lips About Casting

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I have felt the radiating wrath of casting choices that haven’t suited my ideals ever since I convinced myself I should have played Hermione despite never auditioning, ever. And even last year, I boiled with fire when Chins McGee (Ben Affleck,) was cast as the caped crusader. But after an extensive period of time, I slowly learnt that I am refusing to give people the benefit of the doubt. I am damning them before they have even tried, which essentially makes me a rather large pimple on a vagina. I am genuinely going, “hey, you know that work that you are doing right now, I’m going to hate. You haven’t even started but you are going to fail.”

If you ever want to absolve yourself from casting sin, get out of the rut about punching your keyboards to death over the latest whatever, then remind yourself how you felt either bullied, or put down or someone lost their faith in you. Now imagine that in a collective scale. That someone came up to your face and went, “you suck at everything you do and will ever do and I will tell everyone that you love and know this.” So why do it about artists and stuff? Sure, you can have some sense about who is going to be terrible or ruin things. But let it plague the entirety of your life? That’s silly talk.

Good Critics are Just Passionate People.

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Except we get paid to tell them. I’ve been doing this, or trying to do this, for four to five years now. This is Cookie 5.0, you know. You come to learn that there are two types of people in the journalism field; those who know nothing and couldn’t think of a better career option or people who genuinely believe in what they do, want to promote good art and believe it can expand your life. People like Roger Ebert and Mark Kermode, they fall on the later as do many at Empire. They don’t do it because they woke up and went “oh, I want to get paid for watching movies because I’m a lazy shit.” But they feel that visceral connection with an art form so much, they want you to feel it too. T

Now there are so many people tooting their own film blogs and their own opinions on whatever social media that they can vomit words into it, it’s really hard to dig at those who just love film. The ones who make films on the side, or reach out to independent sources. And the divide between artist, audience and critic is bigger than ever to the point where even critics are angry at critics.

The big question here is why critics exist and why do they get people enraged?

Well, if you’ve EVER vehemently agreed or disagreed with someone’s articles with the heat of a thousand suns. So much so that you are willing to tap on your iPhone on the train, exclaim loudly and call critics the biggest load of garbage under the sun. If you’ve ever done that, then that is exactly why critics exist. To keep art a passionate and turning debate that never loses steam.



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