Oh joy. The Smurfs are smurfing their way back to the cinema.
If you’re anything like me, you can think of little more that would excite you than these little blue humanoids who ubiquitously apply the word “smurf” in place of any other smurf in their lexicon. (Although a re-enactment of the chair scene from Casino Royale may just titillate me ever so slightly more, now that I think about it.)
In the interests of fairness, I’m definitely not the target demographic for this film. However, it has fallen to me to address this teaser, and so I shall use my wealth of disdain and cynicism to say the following;
This film looks set to be an utterly pointless waste of 90+ minutes. The only reason it will succeed is because the film will be released over the summer holidays and parents, anxious to escape their screaming children and the heat, will throw them in a darkened room and have a snooze whilst Papa Smurf and Smurfette make tired jokes about whatever is hot in the popular culture at the moment.
Seriously. Please. Stop making this shit.
Smurfs: The Lost Village is in cinemas 2017.