Bad-Tubs : 6 Cinematic Reasons Not To Have A Soak

(WARNING: PICTURES CONTAIN GRIM GROSS STUFF AND NUDITY)

Rub a dub dub, who doesn’t like the tub? After a long and stressful day or simply getting caught in the rain, there is nothing better than a lovely hot or warm bath filled with entwining fruity scents of your favourite bubble bath. Relaxing with the latest magazine, you waste your time stewing in filth convincing yourself your getting clean as you wrinkle under the water. Maybe there are candles and incense letting tantalising aromas calm you from your daily woes. Maybe it is a fun bath with little ships and rubber ducks. Or maybe it is none of this and it is actually a demon filled blood bath just waiting to take your soul.

Well, it was for these people.

Hostel 2 (2007)

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Not so much a problem for the person taking the bath as it was for the person hanging above it. Hostel 2, an exercise in horror and gore, directed by Eli Roth is about wealthy businessmen who pay Slovakian mobs to kidnap backpackers to torture them. Fun, right? Well, in this lovely segment of the series, we see American college students on a trip. Soon after their arrival into Slovakian village, things start to go pair shaped and the first of the crew to go missing is Lorna. Lorna, played by the annoying girl in The Princess Diaries, is kidnapped and hung upside down. Soon after a rather attractive high paying client, Mrs Bathory (I’m not kidding,) climbs into a bathtub and with a scythe starts cutting Lorna’s back. Incredible pain for Lorna, but at least Bathory get’s all the soothing nutrients that blood can offer the skin…

The Lost Boys (1987)

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While we all enjoyed Corey Haims’ Sam rock and roll melody in the tub right before he discovers that Michael, his brother, is actually a vampire, I’m talking about another scene. After rigging the whole house to stop impending doom from a vampire gang lead by Kiefer Sutherland. You name it, they’ve got it. Stakes? Check. Crucifixes? Check. A bathtub filled with garlic and holy water? Check. Unfortunately for vampire Paul, a relaxing lavender scented bath was not what her ordered and Nanook, the husky dog, pushes him straight into the burning tub that immediately melts and destroys him. For any vampire needs I believe that Radox will be releasing this special combination soon.

Mirrors (2008)

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Kiefer Sutherland rears his head again in this supernatural thriller about haunted mirrors. Now, that’s not mirror that shows just exactly how many spots or blemishes you have, it’s a house full off possessed mirrors that take your shape, then kill you in your reflection, killing you in real life. Yikes, that’s scarier than seeing those extra pounds you gained over Christmas. In this particular bathtub scene Angela, our lead Ben’s sister, is taking a well earned soak. Unfortunately, the spirits have other ideas, and no sooner has Angela closed her eyes to relax then does a demon pop up. To pop on the list of gruesome deaths also, Angela’s ghostly double splits her jaw wide open in a horrific way. A yawn of death. Fun fact, this is Alexandre Aja’s (who brought us The Hills Have Eyes and A Switchblade Romance,) first movie to receive a R Rating without any scenes being cut.

The Shining (1980)

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If you haven’t watched The Shining, suggestions on watching include with company, during daylight with all the lights on. While some don’t find The Shining scary, it’s atmospheric pulse and Kubrick style makes it one of the most on edge thrillers ever. Starring Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrence; The Shining is about a hotel caretaker who is driven mad by the ghosts who haunt it. This particular bathroom scene is perhaps one of the most memorable moments in the whole movie. Jack investigates the happenings in room 237 after his son Danny is found with bruises and marks. Sceptical, Jack enters only to find a beautiful woman bathing. As the naked woman removes herself and flirts with Jack, Jack cannot resist the temptation, going full on lip service with the buxom lady. But something doesn’t feel right and pulling away mid snog, Jack finds in place of the stunner is a decrepit decomposing old woman starring at him in all her horror.

Sounds like a lot of Friday nights.

The Big Lebowski (1998)

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If we are going to talk about relaxing baths then you have to look no further than The Dude. The easy going hero of Cohen brothers comedy The Big Lebowski and played by the wonderful Jeff Bridges, The Dude is a cult icon. After a strenuous day of doing nothing except bowling and smoking weed, The Dude comes home to take a long soak. However, trying to relax is hard when lycra clad thugs, confusing him with a different Lebowski, break in to collect money. It’s hard to stop thugs when you’re up to your chin in suds and The Dude has to look on as they pee on their rug and destroy his limited possessions. But calling out for them to stop doesn’t do much but gain their attention. Soon the thugs are throwing a live marmot into the tub quicker than you can say “hey, this is private property, man.” Not exactly the thrashing animal you’ll want stealing all the hot water.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

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So we have covered literal blood baths, vampire burn baths and haunted baths but none of these baths are as creepy as the one that Freddie Krueger haunts. When A Nightmare On Elm Street came out, the whole world was gripped with terror. That’s because in Elm Street, ghost Krueger can actually kill you in your nightmares. When Nancy’s friends are killed in their sleep, no one will believe Nancy’s rants about a killer that stalks the mind and kills from the nightmares. With all this stress, Nancy takes a bath to detox. However, steamy baths and bubbles with a cushiony neck pillow is all it takes to cause Nancy to drift off. That’s when the knifed fingered creep comes looming out of the soapy water to drag her into the murky depths of her nightmares…


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