9/11 – A Trailer Thing

You know when you see something and your immediate reaction is “No. Absolutely not. No way. Not by any means. Big no-no. Negative. Not today. Not tomorrow either. Never. No, this can’t be happening. Stop the presses. Cut the chord. Pull the train into the station. Reel it in, folks. It’s time to STOP”?

Yeah. That’s the only reasonable reaction to this film.

9/11 – Yes, it’s literally just called 9/11. Titles like World Trade Center and United 93 were just far too interesting, this just gets straight to the point – stars Charlie Sheen as a guy trapped in a broken elevator in the World Trade Centre, that’s ready to snap and plummet to destruction. A visual metaphor for his career, you could say. Their only hope is Whoopi Goldberg, who….Doesn’t do much, from what I can tell in this trailer. Maybe she does a lot. Maybe the woman in real life was a true hero. But Jesus Christ, this film will her no favours. Everything is so contrived in this horribly put together trailer; even from these few short clips, Charlie Sheen has stopped trying, and Whoopi Goldberg is just kind of Whoopi Goldberg. Not to mention that this trailer shows you almost the entire film, including the fact that Charlie Sheen’s wife gets out of the elevator, and then we see the thing snap and start falling. But worst of all? Before it starts falling, Charlie Sheen says to Luis Guzman “They say it’s not the fall that kills you” and Guzman is like “What does?” and then the cable snaps. I am firmly of the belief that this will go down as one of the most unintentionally hilarious movie moments of all time, because it is truly pathetic.

Also, I love the fact that they feel the need to say “Based on actual events” for a film called 9/11. Like thank you for that, I was seconds way from saying that this is the greatest tragedy ever written. Unless of course this is based on a little known about these specific elevator passengers, but I can’t seem to find anything to suggest that. 9/11 looks like a cheap, tasteless cash in on a genuine tragedy. Films in the past have managed to tackle the event with great respect and dignity, this film seems to shit all over that, and looks like something even the Lifetime channel would say no to.

9/11 is out September 8th.
Please, I’m begging you, pay your respects that weekend by doing something far more worthwhile than giving money to this film.

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