All posts by Cookie N Screen

Film Journalist, Director, Screenwriter, and Editor in Chief. Marketing Manager of Ritzy Picturehouse She'll excessively talk about Filth, how James McAvoy is the best actor of our generation, and how much she loves drag queen Katya Zamolodchikova.

The Boy – Review

When you attend a movie, you have to pick the right people to go with. You have those closest to you who are regular cinema goers and you couldn’t fault them if you tried. You have certain folks you trot out for special occasions: The I’m With Geek crew are a must when it comes to superhero blockbusters or Star Wars and I also watch horror movies with my sister as I cower in the mess in my trousers. My point is that you chose who you go with the cinema and, in turn, you get a particular experience. Sure, there is something so superb about the solitude of cinema, but damn, sometimes, you just have to go with a bunch of friends.

I’m saying this now because if I had seen The Boy by myself, grumping furrowing my brow out of displeasure, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it so much. But at a private midnight screening with myself and some mates, all making quips about the ridiculousness on display, it was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.

The Boy is part of the latest trend of cheesy horror movies with nothing scary at the centre of it. The film revolves around a young American girl named Greta who travels all the way to England to escape her abusive partner. In her extensive job hunt, she finds the only one going is a Nanny position in an isolated mansion in the middle of the country. Though clearly not reading the job specs on Indeed.com, Greta finds that she isn’t actually babysitting a child, she is looking after a doll named Brahms.

Yes. Brahms.

Anyway, the real Brahms is supposedly dead and the grieving parents have been tending to this porcelain prince ever since. Greta laughs it off as a joke but when she is left alone with the doll, strange things start to occur….

Why is it Bad?

For film that professes frights and ghoulie antics, The Boy is suffering from a lack thereof. There’s perhaps one jumpy moment and it turns out to be a dream. The film becomes ridiculous. You never seen the doll move or grimace or do anything out of the ordinary and yet the filmmakers will focus squarely on his expressionless face, expecting you to be chilled to the bone. Hint: You’re not. In fact, it will provoke the biggest ripples of laughter throughout as Lauren Cohen, bless her, grimaces at a doll that steals her clothes.

That’s it, by the way, that’s the biggest thing this doll does – steals her clothes. Oh, and makes her a PB & J sandwich. That’s the terrifying spooky doll climax…He can’t even kill her shitty ex-boyfriend right… It’s awful and sloppy, especially as it relies too heavily on horror tropes such as fantastical dreaming that is the only time frights are conjured up. It is also highly illogical too with studied character flows that sink the narrative like one rock in a coat as you wade out to sea.

Why is it Good?

Cohen is good as is Rupert “You Deserve A Better Film Career” Evans. While there is something unnerving about a bright young woman being suckered into really care for the boy and the twist was a little unexpected, the reason The Boy was so good was because of the company I kept watching it. Without them pointing out flaws and logic in a most of the film in such a comedic manner, The Boy would’ve flailed, failed, and gone up in flames like the original Brahms.

So this is why audience and cinema matters, in a way, and why quote-along screenings and singalongs are so valid because they can alter your performance in a better way. Why I am not sat here commanding you all speak to one another during a film (because it is 90% unacceptable), I guess I’m celebrating the folks who made The Boy an interesting and enjoyable experience. When it comes to bad movies, you have to watch them with folk able to throw a few moments of hilarity into the moment.

The Magnificent Seven – Brand New Trailer!

There are many remakes. Many. Too many.  There is an abundance of them that are making our cinematic lives miserable. We don’t need remakes: We need original ideas. It’s we this idea that the latest from The Magnificent Seventruly exhausts.

The Magnificent Seven revolves around the sleepy town of Rose Creek who is put under deadly control by Bartholomew Bogue. When the desperate towns people turn to an outlaw to help protect them, he enlists six more rambunctious gunslingers to help. Shenanigans ensue.

I am literally only here for a gin swilling, grimy, and rugged Chris Pratt playing cowboys with Denzel Washington. Tuned eloquently to The House of the Rising Sun, the film may not be utterly necessary and highly indicative of this annoying trend, it does look like a whole lot of fun.


The Magnificent Seven is out later this year 

The Girl On The Train – Brand New Trailer!

When a movie excels, there are a bunch of movies that follows like lost puppies and are heralded as “this year’s (insert successful film now.)” The new one at the moment is Gone Girl. Every female led thriller is now touted as “this year’s Gone Girl” as though people are trying to imitate the successes of better films beforehand. The Girl On The Train is trying to imitate the Fincher Thriller so well, even down to cold blue aesthetics.

But does it look any good?

The film starring Emily Blunt revolves around a young woman who disappears one afternoon whilst taking a run. When a witness comes forward, stating that she saw a suspect and the woman whilst flitting by on the train, it seems the truth isn’t as simple as suburbia starts spiralling out of control.

Emily Blunt is an accomplished actresses and this movie also stars Louis Theroux, Hayley Bennett, and Luke Evans. But this film seems a little bit too much like a cable film than stellar movie outing.

What do you think?


The Girl On The Train is out later this year 

Jason Bourne – Brand New Trailer!

As previously mentioned yesterday, the icon forgetful spy is something of a legendary role for Matt Damon. We’ve had countless adventures with the amnesia addled agent and we’re getting the promise of a grittier one who, like, takes punches semi-nude and cavorts down city streets in car speed chases and all that action packed awesomeness.

The brand new spy movie sees Bourne back in the driving seat after Jeremy Renner’s stint. There’s not much to go on, simply that Jason is roughing and toughing it again, trying to get some answers and destroy some people and stuff at the same time.

Yep. It’s pretty much a whole lot of the same. But if Damon wanted to continue producing a lot more of the Bourne series, we’ve had a few ideas:

Bourne This Way – Jason tackles sexuality and Lady Gaga
Bourne To Be Wild – Jason gallivants down the highways on his motorcycle.
Bourne Free – Jason helps a nature reserve…
Bourne in the USA – Jason helps bring down the republicans…

The possibilities are endless!


Jason Bourne is out August 

Everybody Wants Some – Brand New Trailer!

Richard Linklater is one of our greatest filmmakers. The director has not had a bad movie yet. The film maestro keeps hitting cinematic balls out of the park and we catch them with the utmost glee. And it seems he is doing it again with comedy Everybody Wants Some.

Set in the 80s this time, it follows a group of college baseball players who navigate their way through the freedoms and responsibilities of unsupervised adulthood. Much like the first film, the cast is predominantly unknowns. But that’s okay, any platform for fresh young talent is welcomed, plus last time around, it introduced us to Matthew McConaughey, as well as Ben Affleck (Whether or not that’s a win is up to you).

Yet again, there is a ferocious critical acclaim for the film which is to be expected with a Linklater film. The movie also stars the likes of Blake Jenner, Zoey Deutch, and Tyler Hoechlin who all seem to capture early eighties college life.


Everybody Wants Some is out May 13th